Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Things to Bring to Baton Rouge...

...when you move down for the first time.

1) Baby powder. No one is proud of swamp balls.
2) Umbrella, waterproof shoes/boots. Save yourself some winter misery.
3) Season tickets. Football Saturdays are something to remember/piece together the next day.
4) A healthy appreciation for Miller High Life. One dollar bottles at the Happy Note ease the pre-payday strain.
5) If you have a cat, all its claws. Stray cats, packs of wild dogs, foot-long cockroaches. Some neighborhoods are better than others. Those wild dogs do tour a pretty wide area though.
6) Flea medicine (not Frontline) for pets. Fuzzy animals WILL get fleas, especially in Spanish Town, where you can count the stray cats in regiments.
7) Road patience/tactical driving skills. At rush hours, the 110/10/12 is a curdled, flash-frozen mess. In the summer heat, when everyone's IQ/concern for humanity on the roads dwindle to nil, people may choose to run you over the railing and into neighborhood/lake/restaurants beneath said highways rather than let you merge from the on-ramp. Jet pack would be the preferred way to travel.
8) White undershirts as outerwear. Everyone sweats. It just feels better not seeing your pitstains creeping down to your hip bones.
9) Bell's beer for Soyka. To befriend the beast, you must feed the beast. Bell's.

3 comments:

Susan Kirby-Smith said...

10) A high tolerance for salt in your food. Baton Rouge has some great eats but you will raise your sodium intake by at least 50%

Alison said...

I think the cats are self-organized into "tribes."

Veronica said...

I wish I'd read this pre move, perhaps the transition would've been smoother